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Gay Best Friend: A letter to straight people from the 'GBF'
Since before I can remember, I’ve hated hearing someone say the word, ‘gay.’ I came out when I was 18-years-old. And to this day, it is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. After I came out, I faced bullying, rejection, and depression. But, with the lows came the highs - one of which was when I finally became, the holy grail, ‘gay leading friend’.
Despite the gay leading friend (GBF) often creature thought of as ‘the hottest accessory’, it was, and still is, a label that weighs heavily on my mind. According to the movies, I should have loved my unpaid position as the straight girl’s best friend/agony aunt. Always listening to her boy problems and being her comedy side queen should have been an honour. But in reality, I realised it wasn’t a fun title at all.
Coming out
Having dabbled with the consideration of being straight and denying who I was for far too elongated, I stopped pretending that my best friend was a potential love interest (thank you Alex) and told my family just before I left sixth form.
Although it felt enjoy I'd just climbed a mountain, that was only the beginning. My vertical girl friends were supportive, and e
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Daniel Mallory Ortberg is online weekly to chat live with readers. Here’s an edited transcript of this week’s chat.
Daniel Mallory Ortberg: Hi, everyone! Hope you all enjoyed the break—now it’s back to your regularly scheduled Dear Prudence. Let’s chat!
Q. Possibly bisexual: I possess always identified as a straight guy, but I am recently panicked and confused by feelings for my best friend (a gay man), “Greg.” We’ve known each other since college and have always been close. I was at his place recently, comforting him
Gay Best Comrade
Such a caring friend.
— Tanya, The White Lotus
The Gay Optimal Friend exists mostly to add variety, funny mannerisms, and cheap laughs to an otherwise all-straight story and sometimes shows political correctness. The gay optimal friend is depicted as mostly interested in shopping, fashion, and makeovers.
The GBF may talk about sex a lot but is seldom depicted as having any because too many viewers would locate that disturbing. Either he has no love being to speak of (which never seems to bother him), or it's forever offscreen, only discussed with the heroine over brunch at some pretentious cafe.
As modern society grows increasingly comfortable with homosexual people, fiction is behind seeing more well-rounded lgbtq+ supporting characters with onscre
There are three guarantees in every gay man’s life: the moment when you realize you like dick; your first time at a gay bar, overwhelmed by all the boiling guys; and conflict with your best girlfriend. (I won’t say fag hag because it’s retro and rude.)
We’ve all seen Will & Grace. We comprehend how these friendships perform. Gay men and women’s relationships are rich and rewarding but also super fucking complicated. It truly is a boyfriend/girlfriend dynamic minus the sex. Many gay men find it easier to form sentimental bonds with women than other homosexual men. They come on the faces of strangers they gather on Grindr, but reserve cuddling for their leading girlfriends. Why? Because they aren’t comfortable with the concept of loving a dude.
This was my journey for a long occasion. I had girlfriends aplenty but zero gay friends. I claimed I didn’t get along with male lover guys. “They’re too superficial and bitchy!” I said. I was like a girl who says she doesn’t get along with other women because they’re catty and jealous—a.k.a. bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
When I moved to Los Angeles, CA, two and a half years ago, I finally
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