Gay fear
Even in States Where You’re Supposed to ‘Say Gay,’ Fear Often Outweighs the Law
'Inclusive curriculum' laws are supposed to create welcoming school climates for LGBTQ and other marginalized students. Making it work is really hard
By Beth Hawkins
This story first appeared at The 74, a group news site covering awareness. Sign up for free newsletters from The 74 to get more fancy this in your inbox.
Lost amid headlines about hundreds of bills seeking to curtail protections for LGBTQ students over the last five years is a surprising fact: More LGBTQ teens live in states that require schools to teach LGBTQ people’s historical and cultural contributions to society than in places that ban their talk about in classrooms.
More than 1 in 4 queer 13- to 17-year-olds attend academy in the seven states that now mandate this inclusive instruction, versus 20% who live in the 20 states that own passed what advocates contact Don’t Say Gay laws.
Research shows schools are safest for LGBTQ children and educators, and that students learn best, when they see themselves in classroom materials. They are far less likely to listento homophobic and transphobic slurs, to feel
Often when I use the word homophobia—especially in spaces that aren’t exclusively leftist—someone challenges my usage, saying that it isn’t an accurate term, that it isn’t a truefear.
Except I argue that the synonyms homophobia actually does outline a real fear.
People who express (or even feel) homophobia are afraid of what the presence of gay people means for society in general and even are afraid of others perceiving them as gay.
They’re afraid that marriage equality will “destroy the family”.
They’re afraid of existence overwhelmed by queerness: that queer sexualities are organism “shoved down their throat” or that “there are too many” identities and initials in the 2SLGBTQQIA acronym too keep footpath of.
They describe queerness as “a lifestyle” and are afraid that this lifestyle will erase their retain. They’re afraid of their children being gay, or more specifically being turned gay.
They’re afraid of people thinking they’re gay, particularly if they’re a male. It’s why they dodge pink, why they don’t stand too close at public urinals, why they don’t wear jewellery or skirts or makeup, why they don’t have lingering hugs with other men.
It’s why they react so abruptly to
My Fear of Being Gay
It started in sixth grade.
I used to flip through Limited Too catalogs, fixating on the pretty, female models and think, Do I have a infatuation on these girls? Am I attracted to them? Horrified by myself, I'd shut the magazine and tuck my knees to my chest in an aim to comfort my acidic stomach.
I'm not gay, am I?
Religious expectations, coupled with my own outside stress, exacerbated this obsession with my sexuality (binge watching Will and Grace didn't help either). I vividly remember my eleven-year-old self walking through a local park with my mom and mustering up the courage to broach the subject. Her resulting horror shut me down immediately. I didn't know how to explain to her that this was a fear, and not a reality.
In high school, my fear of homosexuality reignited after my first crush dumped me. I feared having crushes on my female friends, my female teachers, or females paired with my ex. It drove me crazy and I felt compelled to tell my friends about my anxieties. Despite this urge, the only person I told was my mom. Her reaction was unchanged since our chat years before. Still shocked, she advised me not to tell an
Why am I afraid of my sexuality changing?
It’s completely normal to question your sexuality—many people do at some point in their lives. However, if you find yourself constantly obsessing over your sexuality, experiencing recurrent intrusive thoughts, and having intense anxiety, it could be a approve of a mental health condition. Excessive fears about your sexuality align with a common subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) established as sexual orientation OCD (SO-OCD).
SO-OCD is much diverse from genuinely exploring your sexuality and reflecting on who you are attracted to. With OCD, the brain seeks 100% certainty about who you’re attracted to—something that’s very unlikely to attain.
Keep reading to learn more about how SO-OCD differs from well self-exploration and how to find the right support.
What is sexual orientation OCD?
SO-OCD is a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder focused on concerns about your sexual orientation. OCD is characterized by a cycle of obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are repeated, unwanted intrusive thoughts, sensations, images, or feelings, and compulsions are repetitive behaviors or mental acts performed to neutralize the obsessio
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