Gold star gay meaning
Welcome to The Gay B C’s of Sex! Each month I’m defining a different sex-related term that’s used within the gay community. I’m crafting these definitions with help from queer archives, pop society, interviews, and more. Save in mind that terminology — especially when it comes to sex — varies widely across communities, and no single definition or article can encapsulate every individual’s experience with these terms. Use this column as a jumping off point for your hold reflection and conversation in the comments.
“Gold star lesbian” might sound like a cute phrase you’d slap on a T-shirt during pride month, but for many LGBTQ+ folks, this term hurts! Put on your lesbian hard hats — we’re about to enter dangerous territory. First, here’s our definition:
gold actor lesbian (n.) — a lesbian who has never had sex with a cis man
“And I fucking lost my lesbian gold star.” — Nessa in Season 8, Episode 8 of Shameless
Gold Star Lesbians: A Brief Media History
According to multiple slang dictionaries, the term “gold luminary lesbian” originated in the US in the 1990s. The earliest written documentation I could find comes from the 1995 book
Andy Cohen wears his "gold star gay" status with pride. The Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen host often talks about being a GSG, which means he's never slept with a woman.
Lance Bass, on the other hand, is not a GSG, admitting on WWHL that he had been with women before he came out as gay.
"It was well before because I was with a woman. I perceive, breaking news!" Bass said.
So, what does that craft Lance? Let's do a little refresher.
Relationship expert April Masini breaks it down for us.
"'Gold-star gay status' is a term that Andy Cohen used to portray his sexuality. He said that he’s gay, and he’s never been with a woman, so he’s not just gay — he’s gold-star gay," Masini told Personal Space. "Someone like Lance Bass, who is also gay, but who has had sex with women, would not be described as gold star gay because he hasn’t been with only men. He’s gay, but he’s been with women in the past."
She continued, "Just so you know, this isn’t just a legal title for gay men. Same-sex attracted women can be described as 'gold-star lesbians.' This is a term that some people use to describe lesbians who include never had sex with men."
While
What Is a Gold Star Gay? We Clarify Its Meaning and Why Some Consider the Word Problematic
Last week, late-night talk show host and openly gay Bravo TV executive Andy Cohen was criticized for being “divisive” and elitist for explaining himself as a “Gold Star Gay.” But what is a Gold Luminary Gay (or the elusive “Platinum Star Gay”)? How did these “awards” enter about, and why undertake some consider them inappropriate?
What is a Gold Celebrity Gay? It’s a indicate of gay pride
A so-called “Gold Star Gay” is a gay man who has never had sexual contact with a vagina. We say “vagina” rather than “a woman” because some trans men own vaginas and because, adequately, that’s the definition.
A “Platinum Star Gay,” a designation re-popularized by a recent Will & Grace episode (clip below), is a Gold Star Gay who was born by cesarean section and has never had any contact with a vagina whatsoever.
We’ve heard drunken comments about “Silver Star Gays” or “Bronze Star Gays,” but we’ve never heard a consistent definition for those, so let’s ignore them for now.
These designated “awards” mostly function as humorous jokes that value gay men who buck the societal expectation of all men to be heteros
Gold star lesbian: What's the deal with the word 'gold star lesbian'?
In the season three episode of LGBTQ+ drama The L Word, “Lone Star”, the women sit around chatting about the term “gold star” and exactly who qualifies. The term, interpretation a lesbian who has only had sex with women, is a status some lesbians take self-acceptance in, but it’s one that’s become controversial as our ideas of sexuality and gender have evolved.
What is a gold star lesbian?
Maria Kindstedt, therapist at LGBTQ therapy service Pink Therapy, defines it as “a lesbian who has only had sex with other women,” believing that, while you could frame it as a lesbian who has never had sex with men, “lesbian sexuality can be defined perfectly well without the involvement of men.” It’s understandable that many lesbians, particularly ones who have trauma relating to men, would find comfort in their status as a gold star.
If you search for the term “gold star lesbian”, the results are overwhelmingly negative. Headlines like, “5 Reasons the Phrase Gold Star Lesbian Needs to Die” and “6 Reasons We Shouldn’t Say Gold Star Lesbian” indicate that people have less-than-positive feelings about it. But why is it so
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